LET ME BE YOU
cold-water swimming as a transformative practice
conveyed through artistic expression
towards a new connection with nature and ecological consciousness
published in exhibition catalouge "I spire. Jeg skaper derfor er jeg"
artistic reseaerch group, USN, 2024

I think I am ecologically conscious. Aware. Mindful. Not enough. And still doing what I can. I have always lived sparsely, in that way that we spend what we can, invest in things that make our house warmer, more sustainable, buy food as eco consciously as possible, have an ecofriendly car, sort our waste, travel just enough so we see our friends and family with as small carbon imprint as possible. We try. I try. Turn of the lights. Work hard. Support UNICEF. Pay taxes. Try to contribute on a microscale. Hope to contribute in a large way.
And still, this description is of a person privileged in many ways and forms. There has been a time when I was not exactly that – privileged. Growing up in communistic Poland had made its mark. I have lived many lives. Moving to Norway, after living in Danmark, where I got my education, has changed my life. I became privileged. I also had to adapt to nature´s demands. The Norwegian way of living. Or I did not have to. I chose to. Something was missing. I was longing for another kind of connection. First came cross country skiing. Then ice-bathing. Or rather whole year bathing. All those beautiful waters and I was always freezing. Not anymore. I can hardly wait with getting in. For a minute or a long swim. In winter, summer, deep lakes, small streams, the sea.
Suddenly my constant urge to get in became an art project – giving in to the elements on an even deeper level than previously. The experience – body, mind, emotions, present in the moment of struggle with my own fear, exhaustion, natures overwhelming power. Giving in, letting go, becoming something else.

Cold-water swimming
Boyle argues that water, through the repeated experience of cold-water swimming, becomes as a liminal sphere (2023, p.9). I can say that my habitual pattern has been disrupted and my perspective and connection to nature has changed. Emerging to low temperature water separates me from what is safe and exposes my body to the real experience of danger. In that period, immersed, I go through a transformation. The body becomes central to the consciousness, absorbed into the present, creating connections with the elements, other humans, and non-humans.[1] Mediating this experience through art makes me become with water, and my cold-water swimming experience sympoiesis (Harraway, 2016).
[1] Referring to Denton and Aranda.
the heaviness of a fabric pulling me down fighting with the urge to get back towards letting go being
I only have one gift to give me I am not enough and still I will give you all of me please stay let me be you
I am listening shreds of thoughts coming through the surface of you I can hear all there is
beneath an embrace towards what is not
I stand all alone There is only me immersed in you You are all Everything Nothing Always Never Released Unleashed Leashed Unbound
You are not alone Let go Let me go Let me be you |
Working with the photographer Paul D. Smith has given me possibilities to convey this experience visually as well. Paul, through his work, presents another perspective – how small, fragile, insignificant, and still present we are. Being able to photograph with a drone and working with the combination of landscape, nature and human vulnerability introduced new levels of interpretation in his work.
I, through artistic research wish to highlight what a bodily experience can reveal about the relation between humans and nature. Can an art expression, created through the process of immersing oneself into the great phenomena of nature, our surroundings, also express the internal struggles we experience in many relations and situations? Can becoming with nature change our perception of what being human on Earth means? Can we contribute to a new way of being together with nature, both on micro and macro level?
Recently I have been considering introducing a new term relating to how we acquire knowledge. Experienced relationship/lived through relationship[1] – as something that differs from or is juxtaposed to pseudo experience (Boyle, 2023, p. 5), human agency, reason, rationality (Silova, 2021, p. 598) and AI generated art.
Developments within digital technologies presents us with new challenges. While the discussion directs itself primarily towards how AI creates obstacles and opportunities in arts, I am considering what an AI cannot convey. I believe it is the experience itself. The experience of acquiring knowledge, through recognition and perception; of co-creating, but also of defining who we are, in this world, where a high level of ethical awareness and a mindset for sustainability is crucial.
[1] Oplevet – in Scandinavian languages can be directly translated to “lived through”, which has another conotations than the English equivalent - experienced.
The comfort of you both of you one and the other I am immersed in both watchful only one Watching in that moment present within both of you The one ashore time still now cold sipping into me, you through me, you are me |

Did you know there are good rocks? Non are bad. But some are good. I can stand by a shore, mostly fresh water, and see a good rock. And I will say: this is a good rock. I can get easily into the water from it and return. The threshold is of great importance. Between here and there. Between coming and being.
The whole ritual is always coming, seeking, passing, being and returning.
I am coming to the water. My water, new water, revisited and discovered water, known and unknown water. Still when I come to the water it is mine. Not alone mine, but I feel I am entering into a relationship, or rather revisiting it. Returning to my water. Which I long for. Cherish. Dred. Argue with. Love. Hate. Think about all the time. Which makes me happy, invigorated, sad, disappointed, wanting more, surprised. I have a deep relationship to my water. The waters do not have a relationship to me. So, it is a quite lonesome relationship. From a human point of view. One could say I have many waters. But I see it as one. All the different places – sea, fresh, lakes, rivers, ponds, shores, are all water to me. Different in every context, but same being. Which I wish to become with.
I do worry about my water. A lot. I will tell you about that later.
After coming to the water, I seek. I will look for a threshold. Between here and there. Between me and being with. Or just being. The looking can take time. I wish to make sure the passing and returning are good. This because a good threshold gives me courage to stay, to be, to become with. Without a good threshold I would not be able to come back. That means I will not be. And being and becoming with is the point. So, I do love a good rock. Preferably with a bit of it under the surface, but not a lot, so I do not scratch my legs on the return. I enjoy being at the threshold. Sometimes I am not alone there, and it is as pleasant to be there with somebody else as being alone. But if I pass the threshold and am not followed, and the person stays at the threshold, I can get stressed. I cannot be. I must still stay, with a part of me, at the shore, at the threshold. I must divide myself. That doesn't happen so often though.
The passing is exhilarating. Very intense. And last a split of a second.

Then there is being. And being is different each time. Sometimes the water is very cold. I have to breathe and fight the urge to return immediately. I do not want to. I wish to stay. To be with. To become with. But sometimes I must. And it makes me so sad. But at least I would think – I passed the threshold. That is the most important thing. I will do better next time.
Sometimes the water is very cold. And it is perfect. And I stay. I am. With. Everything of what is at the shore disappears. I am here and now. My fragile body and this wonderful being all around me. Mussels relax, I am calm, my breath slows, I stop freezing. And then the time is to say goodbye. It feels like I have been in forever. And I am water. The water is not me. The water is all.
Sometimes the water is not cold enough. If I swim for a while, I get cold. Sometimes it is so warm I stay for hours. Never get cold.
Returning is always both – sad and returning. Life is at the shore. I am at the shore. I do bring water with me. On the outside and within. The prickling feeling on my skin. The calmness of my mind. The longing that begins in the very second, I return. Sometimes I go back. Right away or a bit later.
I do worry. About my water. When I return, I think about the color of it. Or smell. Or surroundings. And think if something is inflicting its conditions. Doing something to my water. I do not think it is hurt or feels anything. This being is not human, and assigning human emotions to it diminished this grand being to nothing. And she is everything, my water. I just realized for me the water is she.

I assume this is the point of being with – the deep relationship developed over time of repeated rituals of entering the water – cold water swimming especially. Becoming with. I assume that me being dependent on having a possibility to swim in clean, fresh or sea water makes me aware of the state of the other part in my relationship – my water. This makes me an active citizen: on a microlevel - trying not to waste any water, making sure I do not pollute the water I encounter, and indirectly, involving myself in the issues connected to sustainability and the environment in the nearest proximity of where I live. On macrolevel – applying what I do as a professional, trying to shed light on what a relationship – being with, sympoeisis do to our environmental consciousness.
This essay is just a beginning. A first attempt on conveying my thoughts, experiences, both through poetic and narrative text, as well as through contemplating the issue and through artistic expressions.
Joanna Magierecka,
The photos are created in cooperation with Paul D. Smith
References
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Denton, H. & Aranda, K. (2020) The wellbeing benefits of sea swimming. Is it time to revisit the sea cure? Qualitative Research in Sport, Exercise and Health 12(5): 647–663.
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